So, I sprayed my office heavily after the direct frontal assault of the other night -- and bravely decided to sleep on the couch ... as far away from my office as possible, thinking the big spider wouldn't find me there ... and maybe the car seat cleaner I used because I couldn't find the bug spray would suffocate him ... but in my heart, I knew I was in trouble. These big spiders always have friends. They hang out in gangs ... I think that gives them confidence.
Anyway, I tip-toed into my office in the morning -- hoping to see a dead spider, legs up on my office floor. But, he wasn't there ... so I was hoping I got him and he died peacefully under the bookshelf ...
Next stop, the bathroom. Gotta take a shower and get ready for work ... I checked the tub and around the toilet and on the floor. Whew! He wasn't there. I took my shower, got out and spread shaving cream on my face. Had just taken the first run over my cheek with my razor -- when I saw his reflection in the mirror, hiding high above me over the door, waiting for me to get close enough to pounce on me.
I forgot spiders don't have ears -- he couldn't hear me scream ... but I know he enjoyed my jumping about 3 feet in the air.
I looked around for a weapon. My eyes found a photography magazine on the back of the toilet seat.
I grabbed it immediately but knew I would have to do a jump shot and slam to get him or he would jump and get me.
It was like high noon at the OK corral. Him or me.
So, I jumped up with my weapon and hit him like I was smashing a kill shot in racquetball. Actually, I think I missed him ... but the force of the wind concussion splatted him like jelly all over the wall ...
Then I knew I was in real trouble ... the wall looked like it needed to be painted. I was late for a photo shoot -- but had to get it cleaned up before I left.
Anyway, I was safe.
At least I think I am ... but I'm still sleeping on the couch just to be certain.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
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5 comments:
Yes, those spiders can be very tricky. I always check behind the shower curtain too. One day I didn't do that and the spider was under my foot when I stepped in the shower. You should have seen me jump over the edge of the bathtub. Quite a sight I tell ya.
Dude, you are so my hero.
Thanks for sharing, you truley slayed your dragon - they come in all shapes and sizes. I laughed so hard I cried. I needed that. ~A
The darn thing is that if you go the spider and threaten him with breaking his knee, he's got 7 more of them!
I share your revulsion of said creatures Dana. Well done, Indiana Kehr!
I'm proud of ya, man!
Michael
The only thing I can say is that this was very entertaining to read. Written very well. You write almost as good as you take pictures! :o) I will say a prayer for the spiders family tonight. They might miss him. lol
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